Finding yourself

16 Jun Finding yourself

Recently, I watched ‘Top Gun, Maverick’ a well-directed movie and, a visual delight. In those few hours, what stood out for me apart from the F18 acrobatics was a one-liner from the main character “It’s not what I am, it’s who I am”, contextually I think it was a comment the main character, a highly accomplished Pilot, made in connection with him not growing beyond a ‘Captain’ rank. Maverick’s character was that of an ace troubleshooter, somebody who had the ability to lead any mission to success. He was content because irrespective of the lack of movement up the ladder he was doing what made him happy. This one-liner made me think about life and the choices we make in general.  Are the choices we make reflective of ‘what we are or want to be?’ or is it ‘who we are?’ Is the disconnect between the ‘what’ and the ‘who’ the root of unhappiness/discontentment in humans?  

I think each one of us needs to find the purpose of our existence, our calling. You don’t have to travel to the Himalayas to find your true calling, I believe you just need to pay attention to what really gives you joy. Working hard to bring food to the table is imperative and a given, its importance is non-negotiable. If your work gives you the happiness you crave, then that’s a great outcome, if not then maybe instead of despairing over it you need to find that ‘one’ element that gives you joy. In order to find that, I believe, we need to unclutter our minds as nothing is realized in chaos. Maybe we need to silence our minds and hear ourselves, and our needs better? Interestingly, the universe conspires to bring to you what you truly desire PROVIDED you know what you want, and you ask for it with integrity.  The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, extols the virtues of this philosophy.

Humans are ritualistic beings; we love to fall into a pattern that works well for us and then mindlessly follow that expecting the same or better outcomes. How much time do we really invest in tapping into our real potential to find out who we really are and what makes us happy? We just skim the surface and then feel disappointed easily. We become mechanical in our approach and thinking leading to frustrations. Even a Robot needs periodical maintenance, what’s our body and soul maintenance regime? Shouldn’t we have an auto re-charging or re-invigorating mechanism to bring that light spring to our steps? I am reminded of a conversation I had with a fellow traveler she said “I am turning into a machine, working day and night, it’s exhausting. To top it my family is unhappy with me as I spend less time with them…… This is not me!” I heard a hint of resentment in her tone when she said those words. She was clearly unhappy with what she had become consequently, which was clearly not aligned with who she was as a person. She was a guitarist in a music band before she became a Marketing Analyst of a well known company. There was a remarkable shift in her energy when she started talking about her College days and how her music band made waves in intercollegiate competitions. I asked her what prevented her from playing the guitar and doing what she loved during her break/weekends. She just paused and said, I need to find the time for it. Well, irrespective of what are work pressures are don’t we always find time to eat, drink and hit the loo when the urge hits us?! She just smiled and said….’priorities’. Maybe we should prioritize ourselves first. A happy mind is a healthy body and vice versa. Well, it was easy for me to preach to her, I paused and asked myself when the last time was, I wrote a blog, the answer was a dismal many months ago. Isn’t writing my passion? yes! then why couldn’t I find the time, and space to write?! I too mechanically got into the rhythm of completing my projects and professional pursuits and forgot all about my blog.  So here I am, making amends and getting into maintenance mode, and my moods have already shifted…..a positive shift!